Tuesday, February 22, 2011


All of a sudden, I'm tired.

Experiencing sudden tiredness in a moment when you're feeling good is not pleasant. It makes you feel weak, stupid, not present. The worst part it that you start thinking about things that aren't necessarily true but since you're tired, you still think of them as true. You get lost in your thoughts and wonder around in your mind, not consiciously even thinking about your surroundings even though you should, not taking into account the people around you, too.Then you wake up and think: "Wow, I'm one stupid mofo for thinking like that - get some sleep."

Also, having too many fun things to do and having no time to do the things you want to do is not pleasant. I'm over-booked now and I don't feel casual anymore, just as I did a few days ago. Or was it yesterday? I'm losing control of time. When everyday is alike, yet completely different, I seem to lose my sense of time for no apparent reason. I think I need things to wait for, things, which I can count my days towards. Three days left, two days, a day, I'm there. Now that I'm only waiting for deadlines, waiting for things that might happen, exist, or come to be, I don't feel so secure anymore. I feel like I'm waiting for the feeling of realizing there was nothing to wait for anyways.

And here I go again, the thoughts of a tired man. Guess I should just write something about music, read a little and go to bed. Tomorrow might not be a new day, but I certainly hope it will be because I'm fed with repeating things in my life. No, I'm actually not. Jesus, I'm thinking like a schitzofrenic.

.in the blink of an eye.

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