Worried and worthless.
Yesterday I experienced something I haven't felt ever, I think. I was worried sick about someone for a short while. Just for a blink of an eye but nonetheless, worried. Up until now I had thought that worrying about others wasn't really my thing. You can worry about yourself and let me worry about myself. Now that I have felt honest concern for the well-being of another person, I feel confused. Should I worry about others too - how they're holding up in their lives, should I talk to them more, would they even notice that I care for them and have my concerns about them? I suppose some people would notice those things and some wouldn't.
Also, I have a huge lack of motivation towards studying at the moment. I promised myself I'd study this whole morning to a French exam I got later today but instead I've been doing so many worthless things and avoiding opening the books up to the best of my abilities. I just don't feel like studying at the moment and I don't like it how I can feel such lack of motivation towards something I normally enjoy doing (yes, I enjoy studying to an extent). My thoughts shift from one end to another and I can't focus. Maybe I should just give up and keep on doing worthless things.
.early morning ambulance.