05022011

Raising Your Voice... Trying To Stop An Echo.

Getting to know people is great. I wish I could get to know all the people I know better. This, I realized yesterday. People are such wonderful beings that deserve all the time of another's life. The day before yesterday, I realized this: I need to go.

I don't need to live my life, I need to live my dreams.

I've been thinking of a radical change. A change that might even determine the course of my life, unless it's predetermined, which I wouldn't know of anyways. I feel like I need to do things with my life now. I want to get rid of all the things that trouble me, all the things that bound me to a pole with long ropes and ducktape. I don't want to live the rest of my life as a social status, a being stuck with its lost hopes and forgotten dreams, still searching. I don't want to attach myself to a network of people for my whole life. What I do want, is to know how attached I need to be to this network. This is why I need to go, go away to be exact. To see for myself what the people I know mean to me. And the only way, as I see it, for this to happen is to get away from these people and the places that remind me of them. Away.

Withdrawal. Escape. The search. Let me (love) live.

As I look around my bedroom, I see myself as a man who's too organized, too bound to the things he enjoys, too engaged to the things he needs to do. Why not abandon all of this for a while and see where it goes? Who knows, I might like it. Like being away from the things I love? I think not. Like creating new things I love? Yes.

.disappear like the morning.