Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Multiple fists driving into your face.

Pushing yourself to work harder and putting more and more effort into a subject that doesn't interest you at all is always difficult and requires for you to have the right mind set to do so. Yet, it seems that not always does this effort pay off. It can also leave you stranded on the beach of bitter disappointment and laugh at you from the ship of success.

I can usually take a blow, even a hard one. I know how it feels to be disappointed, or how it feels when someone is disappointed at you. I just don't like taking multiple hits, constantly. Working for a goal is like entering a fist fight without arms. You just have to take the punches and hope that you can eventually come on top. When it looks like your opponent, the goal, is just about to fall down on its place, it drives a final blow into your sweaty face and you fall down on the mat, defeated. You had taken too much punishment from the previous hits that you don't even want to stand up again. Why bother? It's not like it would make a difference to try harder again, to try and put more effort into it again.
   Throwing the towel into the ring usually doesn't help either. You just have to rise up at some point and continue taking punches. Maybe this time, just maybe, you'll be rewarded at the end of the fight and you can finally feel that you've made a difference, you've succeeded. Your efforts have paid off, at last.
    Mine haven't. And it eats me from the inside right now.

.it's a prison for dreams and for hopes.

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