Saturday, November 27, 2010


Late night ramblings.

I'm a moderately emotional person but I never manage to show it to other people. I find this to be a major problem regarding the well-being of my head. I have the tendency to listen to other people as they complain, whine, cry, despise and even hate various things. After listening to them I suck, not literally, their bad feelings into me. This usually ends up with the other person feeling better about themselves and me having more emotions to deal with. No, it doesn't work in the magnificent way it does in Stephen King's The Green Mile. Instead of letting out the bad stuff I keep them inside my head. Over time these emotions, negative emotions, build a huge dam, which blocks my own feelings. This resorts into me being not able to talk about my feelings.

Sometimes the dam breaks and head floods with emotions. This happens approximately once a year and the flood streams out of every single small hole in body. I cry.

I haven't cried in a year, I think. So now I'm really waiting for the dam to break sometime soon. I've been building up a lot of stress, mixed emotions of joy and sadness but no anger. The flood might be quite horrid this time because last time was such a long time ago and there was a reason for it. There's nothing worse than a flood with no reason for it. It just overcomes you.

.i just found out for sure.

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