18042012

Fool's hope.

Midpines-Santa Clarita-Hermosa Beach

A stroll down The Strand taught me more than I knew at that moment. A moment with myself, a thought shared with no one.

What I crave for is the feeling of importance. I need to feel important, not just to someone, but to everyone. An ambitious attempt to please everyone, and this trip made me wonder if there ever was any hope for that. If, at some stage of my life, there will only be disappointment – in myself, in others, in life. No success, just failure after one another. No achievement, just stalemate.

But aren't you important, if only to just one person?

Sometimes I feel like a fool, shredding my emotional stability into bits and pieces by a thought process too complicated. I feel like I make everything so hard on myself. I have to be this and that, be here and there, do something and everything. I can't make myself content.

But if I could be important to myself, just for once?

A foolish thought, but that's what's life about, isn't it? Clinging on to a fool's hope, living for a dream-may-come-true.