I guess it was inevitable. There are simply too many wonderful people in my life to take a leave without a cascade of tears. Last night we had our farewell party at a friend's summer cottage and I knew I would end up in tears some time during the night - I was right.
I'm not embarrassed that I cry occasionally. I think it shows that I'm capable of mature emotions. I wasn't embarrassed yesterday either but I didn't want all of the people saying goodbye to me see me cry. I don't know why I didn't want it to happen but I just didn't. I asked my love to join me outside and we walked down to the garage and sat down on a pile of tires. At first, I actually thought I wouldn't even shed a tear, I didn't feel like it. Then it struck me. I burst out in violent sobs of tears. Her hand caressing my hair, the table collapsed on the garage floor and the air as cool as the mountains.
I cried for a long time. I felt sad, pathetic, broken and weak.
But the broken will always be fixed and the sad will rejoice. A shattered window built anew. So many wonderful people in my life, and all of them are waiting for me to come home, even though I haven't even left yet. Out of these wonderful people in my life, only one jumped off the cliff with me. Only one stood under the cascade. Only one took my hand and led me out. Only one with a laughter so soft I could spend a lifetime listening to it.
.into the road of sadness.