10072011

Smokes.

Me and my parents discussed addictions today during a Sunday lunch. Is there an addiction to Internet anymore in today's world or is it just a part of our lives? How do you define an alcoholic? When do you become addicted?

Later today the same person who sent me I'm already up here as a text message sent me another message. I still don't want to find out who this mysterious messager is but I like to think of him, or her, as a voice of my own guardian angel. Random statements from a higher being. Today's message was as short as the first one, which further fortifies the image of the angel's voice in my head. The message today said: Remember the smokes.

I used to smoke myself. I never admitted to myself that I was addicted to smoking, addicted to cigarettes and nicotine. I kept telling myself and others that I could quit any time I want and my addiction was barely an addiction. Little did I know. I tried quitting multiple times but never 'for real'. I always allowed myself a smoke during special occasions and made exceptions. I didn't really even want to quit. 

Now I finally have quit the old habit and I've been smokeless for a longer while now than I have ever been since I started the habit. I think I did it this time and I'm proud of myself. But I will remember the smokes. I will remember the addiction they can cause. Life is fragile and I don't want to spend my last days coughing my lungs out. So, I will remember.

.means.