Sunday, May 1, 2011


Surf's up, thoughts down.

I think too much.

It's an amazing gift from God to me that I am able to think about matters in such a wide scale. I can be thorough with everything I think about and I am good at viewing things from different angles, painting out all the scenarios. Now I'm starting to think that this gift might not be such a great thing after all. I think I might be hurting myself, and even others, with all of this speculation and scenario creation. I don't want that. I just want to live in a genuine freedom of thoughts. I just want to let go of this hard work inside my head. I want to stop thinking about every single thing. Just let myself be and let others be. How great would that be?

No one knows what the future brings with it. No one. But if you start thinking about it too much, you will only lose yourself into the murky woods of your thoughts. Naturally we can't help ourselves - we will always think ahead and think about the future. It's part of survival and human nature. I'd just rather think about things I know will probably happen in the future, or things that I know I can influence. My own emotions and the emotions of others, those I can't control and I don't want to either. What a burden that would be. I don't want to restrict myself from feeling something. If a feeling feels good, then I just want to let it feel. If I want to engage myself emotionally to something, then I am allowed to do so because it only affects me. Or it should at least because it's just my own silly thoughts of engagement and nobody else should have to worry about them. It's my worry if something, which threatens my emotions, happens.

Being on the same wave length doesn't require any thinking. You just are on the same wave length. Wanting to be on the same wave length tires people and requires an exhausting amount of thinking. But you can never intentionally bring someone to your wave's length. You can only assure that you're on the same wave length but if you aren't, then you aren't. But you don't have to be either. You can just keep on surfing on your own waves and wave your hand and smile to the other surfing on their own vave. Sometimes your waves connect with theirs and you can ride together for a while. This while might be a minute, a day, a year or a lifetime. What really matters is that you can share this wave even for the shortest while. This moment of sharing is when you can smile together, connect your fingers, look up to each other's eyes and wonder how small you two are in this huge ocean.

Don't fall off your surf board if you haven't even got on it yet - you don't know how far the waves might take you.

.please don't let me cope alone.

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