Tuesday, November 30, 2010



I was feeling really stressed out just a couple weeks ago because I had loaded back full of various things to do: courses, exams, organizing, excercise, social life. I thought to myself that I need to focus on one thing at a time. It obviously didn't work out and I had to multitask. Now I'm halfway through the stress-period, which came out to be a total of approximately six weeks. Tomorrow I'm getting another exam off my back. By next thursday I'll be pretty much stress free and ready to start my Christmas vacation, a well-earned one at that.
   I rely on people. I need people around me to feel secure, to feel needed. I was alone last Saturday for the whole night and my mind desperately craved for attention and company. I just couldn't be by myself for the whole night because I had had people all around me for the whole week - for the whole three past weeks to be honest.

I was riding my bike to school just yesterday. It was a really cold morning, around -15C and I'm not used to those temperatures in November. Nonetheless, I always choose the music for my trip to school by the feeling I have in the morning. For the morning I'm speaking about I chose Ghost Brigade's album Isolation Songs. It's an incredible album full of atmospheric, dark, melancholic metal from Finland. I seriously wonder why they haven't gained more popularity yet because they manage to create an image in your head that says something about coldness and darkness.

Do you ever dream about making a difference?

Yes, I have dreamed of that all my life and now that I do make a difference to a bundle of people, I don't know whether I want to anymore. I can't tell whether it's better to be just the indifferent someone or the one who matters. Making a difference is, of course, quite relative. You can make a difference to a person or you can make a difference to various people or you can make a difference to a whole society. I'd sort of like to make a difference to as many people as possible but now that I seem to make a difference to more and more people, I'd just like to make a difference to just the few people I used to make a difference to. I'm just blabbering now and I'll quit typing here.

.the lost take.

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